Five Lessons I've Learned from My First Marital Move

Our engagement photo, back when we owned so little junk...

1. Moving for two is exponentially (and I do mean that mathematically) harder than moving for one, especially when the two in question have lived in the same place for five years. Between the wedding presents that came gradually to us in the mail and five years' of Christmas and birthday presents and the little pieces of furniture and brick-a-brack we've bought, it's taken maybe ten times more effort to pack everything up, and we haven't even tackled the moving van yet. Plus:

2. Two people produce more soap scum, oil spatters, hard water stains, and other cleaning jobs that get put off too long and must be cleaned all at once before move-out. Of course--

3. Our landlord gave us a list of chores that need to be done before we leave, which otherwise will come out of our deposit money, at a rate of $17.50 an hour, which made becoming a part-time cleaning lady much more appealing, especially since--

4. Thanks to my landlord's list, I've discovered the magic of pumice stone on porcelain. Stains I've tried to eradicate since about a month after we moved in have disappeared with minimal effort thanks to my new favorite cleaning supply, which I wish had an equivalent for the range hood on my stove, since--

5. I strained my shoulder muscle removing grease stains that, because I never bothered to lean over my stove and crane my neck upward, I never realized were there, which led me to learn that there's always dirt in unexpected places: a lesson for housekeeping, a lesson for life.